2011 is over and done with and it has been a banner ****ing year for Fanboy movies. I am certain that the theaters are still mopping up Fanboy drool (among other Fanboy bodily fluids). We have seen everything from the (supposed) final installment for The
TRANSFORMERS and
Rock'em Sock'em Robots to Green garbed, ring wearing intergalactic police.....
and
DAMN DIRTY APES!
Battle Los Angeles (
$83
million)
Aaron Eckhart / Ramon Rodriguez / Ne-Yo / Michelle Rodriguez
Independence Day meets Saving Private Ryan....
This movie doesnt really know weather it wants to be a Sci-Fi action movie or a gripping military drama, and is kinda stuck in the middle. It has the same special effect team as did the movie
SKYLINE (DO NOT SEE SKYLINE, DON'T DO IT!! GO TO THE DENTIST AND GET A ROOT CANAL INSTED!) I saw
Battle Los Angeles twice, fell asleep the first time, got throught it the second time. It wasnt a total turdfest, but It just didnt keep me rivited to my seat. Again, compared to SKYLINE Battle Los Angeles was Citizen Kane!
I give this film a Fanboy rating
C--..
again I cannot stress how much you should NOT see SKYLINE, watch TWILIGHT instead.........ya know what, I take that back, if those are you two choices, just go read a book, a graphic novel,
X-Men GOD LOVES MAN KILLS is one of my favs!
REAL STEEL ($83 million)
Hugh Jackman /Evangeline Lilly
Like I stated in a previous blog, "ROCKY meets Rock'em-Sock'em robots!"
I am sorry, I didn't see this film, and I keep hearing it was a "tear-jerker" that will really tug at your heart strings. And I think we all know what Hugh Jackman was doing in this film....trying to get Fanboys to go to the movies while we wait for the next WOLVERINE movie.... even though I did not see this fine film, i am afraid I am still going to have to give it a SOLID D-- (none the less, still a D)
GREEN LANTERN ($116 million)
Ryan Reynolds / Blake Lively
In a universe as vast as it is mysterious, a small but
powerful force has existed for centuries. Protectors of peace and
justice, they are called the Green Lantern Corps ...In Blackest Day In Darkest Night... I almost wished this movie escaped my sight. It just wasn't.....hittin'. Once again I think instead of going with an actor better suited for the role (Nathan Fillion would have been spot on perfect) Instead Hollwood picked the HOT actor of that particular minute. Now I like Ryan Reynolds, I could have seen him more as Daredevil that whats-his-face (yeah, still a little salty about that) and maybe he would have been a better Kyle Ranier Green lantern, but not a Hal Jordon., a little too much poetic license with the origin (read the graphic novel Emerald Dawn fer Cybertron's sake!)
I am afraid I will have to give this one a
D++ mainly because I don't think they will be able to recover from this and will keep making crappier sequels.
CAPTAIN AMERICA The First Avenger ($176 million)
Chris Evans / Hugo Weaving /Tommy Lee Jones
My brother/fellow Prince of the Universe BR@ND X is not a fan of the Star Spangled Aveneger, even though this movie was indeed quite good. It told a good story. Yes they got a little happy-go-lucky with the dramatic license with the origin/relationship between Steve and Bucky! ( I still don't understand why they do crap like that.) but all and all this was a very good movie. I have to give it a B-.
THOR
Chris Hemsworth / Natalie Portman / Sir Anthony Hopkins
THOR is another character my brother and I don't agree on. Again, this movie tells a store, yes you don't fully see THOR in action but in the beginning and end of the film, but unlike SMALLVILLE, you actually get to see him in the G**DAMNED SUIT! ( a topic for another rant, most disappointing Fanboy events maybe??) I like the story, the cameo by HAWEYE, and they picked the perfect actor to play the role! A;; and all, I have to give this movie a B.
And all the racists out there who were bitching about Idris Elba playing the role of Heimdal, get over it! If Jake Gyllyanhal can be the Prince of Persia.......so you goosestepping bastards can go **** yourselves!
X-MEN FIRST CLASS ($146 million)
X-Men First Class.....ummm since the begining of the comic book series, who was the first X-man?...................SCOTT "Slim" SUMMERS!! So now,according to this movie, Alex Summers, (Scott's younger brother) is now one of the first X-Men???? So i guess I can make movie about BUFFY the VAMPIRE SLAYER and make Willow the Vampire slayer I guess. Fanboys wait, and wait, and wait for our fav characters to come to life on the big screen....and then we are cheated. Was this a bad movie, no, I think it was a great movie....but a very bad X-MEN movie. I hear the argument about the 30+ year of X-MEN history to deal with. But this was supposed to be THE FIRST CLASS, CYCLOPS, BEAST, ANGEL, ICEMAN and JEAN GREY!
I am torn because it was a good movie, just NOT an X-MEN movie. So it gets 2 grades, a B+ for the actual movie, but a D-- for being an X-MEN movie/
By the way, if you dont have the rights to the character, don't do the G**DAMNED movie, remember the fitst FF movie?....no, no, I mean the REAL first FF movie. They were going to lose the right to the characters which is why they came out with that terribly bad movie...
TRANSFORMERS: Dark of the MooN ($352 million)
Hands down, Beyformers was easily the top grossing Fanboy film of 2011. We got to see one of our Old favorites from the original series. (Shockwave)
as well and the Usual suspects; Optimus Prime, Bumblebee. And a new character in Sentinel Prime (aka Alpha Trion, any good Transformers Fanboy should know that!) Great movie, great action, good story, ( a few holes in it but still good story) but I think it was just a little too much story about Sam (Spike, you should know this Fanboy) Witwiki., and not enough character develpment of the Aitobots and Decepticons. That is the only issue I have with Beyformers....well that and they could have added Hot Rod in the movie.
Maybe the will be saving that for Beyformers 4. (oh yes my dear Fanboys and Fangirls, there WILL be a Beyformers 4)
I give Beyformers 3 a B.
COWBOYS and ALIENS ($100 million)
Fanyboy gold right? Han Solo/Indiana Jones and 007?
This year's
example of the Goldman Rule that in Hollywood, nobody knows anything. A
film based on a comic book, directed by the guy who did the Iron Man
flicks, starring Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig? How could it not work?
And yet it didn't. Maybe ther should have had Ridley Scott's Aliens in it.
Cowboys and Aliens gets a C--
RISE of the PLANET of the APES ($176 million)
Now I honestly thought this was going to be shitfest. I thought it was going to be made campy or goofy, or "kid friendly" This movie was awesum! clearly the best of all the Sc-Fi films of 2011! Great backstory, paying homage to the original AND leaving the future wide open . You can actually see where they can go with this, and it doesn't make your brain bleed out of your ears trying to deal with the concept of time travel like with the last APES movie. This was a damn good film! The actor who uttered the ICONIC line, "get your hands off me you damn dirty ape!" was a little lackluster (definately not Chaleton Heston) but it was still coll that it was in the movie...it had to be!....I can't wait to see the sequel on this one!
I give RISE a solid A!
2011 gave us some stinkers and some truly awesum movies. 2012 will be intersting as well, some Fanboy movies I am seriously looking forward to...
like Prometheus
and GHOST RIDER SPIRIT of VENGEANCE
some other.....well we will just have to see, we have everything from AKIRA and HIGHLANDER, to TOTAL RECALL and MIB3.
...yes, I said it, a HIGHLANDER remake...i know, I know, the can only be one.
In a universe as vast as it is mysterious, a small but
powerful force has existed for centuries. Protectors of peace and
justice, they are called the Green Lantern Corps ...In Blackest Day In Darkest Night... I almost wished this movie escaped my sight. It just wasn't.....hittin'. Once again I think instead of going with an actor better suited for the role (Nathan Fillion would have been spot on perfect) Instead Hollwood picked the HOT actor of that particular minute. Now I like Ryan Reynolds, I could have seen him more as Daredevil that whats-his-face (yeah, still a little salty about that) and maybe he would have been a better Kyle Ranier Green lantern, but not a Hal Jordon., a little too much poetic license with the origin (read the graphic novel Emerald Dawn fer Cybertron's sake!) 
as well and the Usual suspects; Optimus Prime, Bumblebee. And a new character in Sentinel Prime (aka Alpha Trion, any good Transformers Fanboy should know that!) Great movie, great action, good story, ( a few holes in it but still good story) but I think it was just a little too much story about Sam (Spike, you should know this Fanboy) Witwiki., and not enough character develpment of the Aitobots and Decepticons. That is the only issue I have with Beyformers....well that and they could have added Hot Rod in the movie.
