10 Examples of Actors in Fanboy films who should have NEVER donned the cape!!...Part One!

Ok, here we go....Fanboy rant time! These are 10 of the absosmurfly  WORST choices for stars in Fanboy movies that  is some ways have even ruined the franchise....shall we begin?


Number Ten: 

The entire cast  of M. Knight Shamalamadingdong's The Last  Airbender...

•   Noah Ringer as Aang,
•   Dev Patel as Prince Zuko,
•   Nicola Peltz as Katara,
•   Jackson Rathbone as Sokka

I have NEVER walked out of a movie, and I  saw Tales in the Hood and Cool as Ice at the theatre. And I  nearly  walked out of the piece of crap. Fanboys and Fangirls were interviewed right after  seeing the flick, and no, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE had anything good to  say  about the movie. Honestly  M. Knight, did you  even see the show? it was freakin' awesum!! The actors in the live action film were definitely lacking both in appearance and character development as well! The only 
one who  was even halfway descent  was the actress who  played Katara. Everyone  else was just  so dry,  lifeless and nothing like the characters in the Nickelodeon Animated Series. Plus the dude who plays Zuko, he looks like he tried to  perm his hair and left  it in too  long on one side! The bloke who played Sokka (by the way M. Knight, it is pronounced sahka NOT  soaka!!!....you dig dong) was not funny/goofy  at  all, and Aang was just  pathetic, you  don't feel at all  for this kid and what  he had been through. Now the special effects we ok, but  guess what,  you  can put  a turd in a fancy  box with bows, and ribbons, and shiny wrapping paper....but it is still, just a turd!  This movie stunk on ice!


And on top of all  that, this movie was either nominated or won Golden Raspberry  awards for:...

Worst Picture	Won	M. Night Shyamalan Frank Marshall Kathleen Kennedy Sam Mercer
Worst Director	Won	M. Night Shyamalan
Worst Supporting Actor	Nominated	Dev Patel
	Won	Jackson Rathbone
Worst Supporting Actress	Nominated	Nicola Peltz
Worst Screenplay	Won	M. Night Shyamalan
Worst Screen Couple/Ensemble	Nominated	The Entire Cast
Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel	Nominated
Worst Eye-Gouging Mis-Use of 3D	Won

So no, it is not just  me who thought this movie was horrible!


Number Nine:
Christopher Eccleston as Destro from G.I. Joe the Rise of COBRA.
Yeah, I  know what you  are thinking, "Now just a knowing is half the battle-minute there Fanboy, what  about  Marlon Wayans?"... I  will get to that, but again did the morons in charge of casting even watch the cartoon??? I  mean crikey, look  at the character of Destro...just  look  at the dude!!  He looks bold, formidable; and ultimate badass...and if you  ever heard him talk....

Then they give us this guy....

are you  serious?

I  mean at  least  if his voice was intimidating, that  might make  up  a little for the poor casting...but  its not... 

I  would have rather seen Tay Zonday (Chocolate Rain) as Destsro, at  least  HE has the voice for it!!

Okay now, about Marlon Wayans.....

He did actually get  in great  shape for the film, and actually  did take it seriously (at  least as seriously  as Marlon Wayans CAN take it) ....honestly, I am just  glad that  we didn't hear him do that girlish scream that  he likes to do  in  most  of  his movies.

Number Eight:

Shaquille O'Neal in STEEL.....

Dr John Henry Irons was a brilliant weapons designer for AmerTek Industries.  He fell off a skyscraper while trying to  save a friend from the same fate. his own life was saved by  SUPERMAN. When Irons asked how  he could show his gratitude to the Man of Steel, Superman told him to "live a life worth saving." Durring Superman's final battle against DOOMSDAY. Irons attempted to  help Superman fight the deadly  menace by  picking up a sledge hammer but got buried in the rubble amidst the devastation. Shortly after Superman's death, he finally awoke and crawled from the wreckage, confused and saying that he "must  stop Doomsday."

Irons created and donned a suit of powered Armour (similar  to  Marvel's Iron Man) in Superman's memory.

and you  cast Shaq?

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight......

Why not team Shaq up  with his former Blue Chips co-star Nick Nolte and make a Power Man and Iron Fist  movie!?

"Goddamitt Luke Cage, I  told you  I  cant  use the Iron Fist while holding a Pabst!....aww hell!"

Number Seven: 

Daredevil, with Ben Afflec

Ok, let's face it, Daredevil is Marvel's Batman. 

Matt Murdock, stuck blind as a child by  a radioactive isotope which superhightens all  his other senses. (there is a theory that  he CAN actually  still see, but like all  his other senses are heightened, so is his sight, but too much  and his brain cant  process all that  information.(Kinda like Geordi La Forges visor.) He trains for years, learning how to  take full advantage of his heightened senses. As well and developing a  kinda of radar and being trained by another blind man Named Stick, one of the greatest   martial artists in the Marvel Universe. 

 And you  cast  Ben "hum drum" Afflec?  You  see what  drugs do to your brain kids?  As I  have said before, Ben Afflec with make a great Blue Beetle or Booster Gold.  But NOT  Daredevil!!! 

And I  am sorry, his outfit looks like he is headed to  a gay  dance club instead of fighting crime. Not since Michael Keaton as Batman has there been such a bad choice in casting! Oh yes, I  will  be getting to  Michael Keaton soon enough!

to  be continued.....

GEEKTASTIC INK

Fanboy Tattoos done @

Sybiotic Studios in St. Louis, MO. (Tower Grove area) 

Come check out Jason Hodge, RedRum, and Ink Slinger. 

This is the working man's Tattoo Shop. They work with your budget and provide the best ink and the most professional environment all the while being friendly.

www.symbioticstudio.com

and as I  have said before, if you  have a tattoo  of a Transformer, superhero, , Star Trek, Star Wars, ect...yeah, you might be a FANBOY!

Glow in the Dark Superman tatto....oh yeah, you're a Fanboy!

 

Crash Bandicoot!!!... I  used to  love that  game...was never really a MarioBros kinda guy!

 Bite my  Shiny Metal ASS!

Like a PHOENIX from the ashes!

First Look: AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!

Just saw the AVENGERS trailer and yes I  know everyone else has as well.......ok, ok, ok. Why are they hiding the Hulk? Is he just going to be a major green skinned badass and just holding him in wait?

And at first look: I am not liking this David Banner played by  Mark Ruffalo

(sorry, Bruce Banner**).

                

Ed Norton is kinda hard to replace. This guy ain't doin it for me. And he kinda looks like Donny Osmond* Again, just at first look.

 You go from the Bill Bixby/Lou Ferigno HULK....

(who honstly is a legend and kinda set the bar) 

 to Eric Bana, 

who wasnt horrible. I mean he was no Dolph Lungeren in Masters of the Universe...(ya know I could have gone on a Halle Berry tyrate but I will show sum Fanboy restraint...(deep breathing) and then Edward Norton just killed it! So this dude have a lot to live up to. 

Oh yeah, nice tag line by Robert Downey jr. "if we can't save the world, we can Avenge it!"

**For  those of you Fanboys and Fangirls  who  did  NOT grow up in the 70-80's;  The incredible Hulk TV series...

1977 to 1982.It starred Bill Bixby as Dr. David Banner and Lou Ferrigno as the Hulk.

^{The series is a cult classic.  The David Banner/Bruce Banner mix-up is out  of habit.... you see even tho as a Fanboy, I  am quite versed in the comic book history  of the Hulk, but  every Friday we were glued to the TV to  watch  The Incredible Hulk.....}

^{The HULK's alter ego's name was changed from Dr. Bruce Banner, to Dr. David Banner. The CBS network executives thought that the name "Bruce" was deemed "too homosexual."....}

^{Are you  kidding me? Has anyone ever heard of BRUCE WAYNE??  YOU  walk up to BATMAN and tell him his  name is homosexual, ad see what  happens!} 

^{Not that  it  matters! No Fanboy would really care!!!. It  is an ICONIC comic book character brought to  life!! Instead of worrying about  the sexual affiliation of names, someone should have stopped Ben Aflec from ruining the DAREDEVIL franchise!} 

 

^{Ben Aflec is more of a Blue Beetle or a Booster Gold,} 

 ^{NOT  a MATT MURDOCK/ DAREDEVIL!}

^{But alas that  is a rant, for another time.... TOP TEN ACTORS/ACTRESSES WHO  SHOULD HAVE  NEVER DONNED A CAPE!}

^{Goodnight Fanboys and Fangirls... I  leave you  with that  hauntingly sad music from The Incredible Hulk TV series..."David Banner is dead, and he must  let the world think that  he IS dead, until he can find a way  to  control the raging spirit that  dwells within him...."}

 ^{*ok, I  had to  add the Donny  Osmond Soldier of Love video!}

Alright meow, where were we...?

Do  I  liike like a cat  to you  boy? 

Am I  jumpin' arround all nimbly-bimbly  from tree to tree? 

Well I tell  ya what, Anne Hathaway aint gonna be jumpin' around all nimbly-bimbly anywhere with those shoes shes she is wearing!! 

Now us Fanboys were all up in  arms about, "why doesnt Catwoman have Kitty  ears??

And the immediate response was that Christopher Nolan always shoots for a more "practical or realistic" view....which I can totally  dig.  I  mean I  dont wanna see Anne Hatheway  dressed up  like Hello Kitty or anything like that. But lets look at  it like this...to quote The Joker (Jack Nicholson), "what  kind of a world is it we live in  where a man dressed  up  like  BAT, steals my  press....? This town needs an enema!"...And so  does whoever thinks that translucent. five inch stiletto heels are "practical" or "realistic"! 

Yes, we get the cat ears (thank you) and we get the classic look of the Catwoman suit (circa Batman TV series featuring Lee Meriweather, Eartha Kitt, and Julie Newmar...again, thank you) And most  important, Catwoman is not just  some actress who is the "IN THING" right now who cant  act  her way  out  of a wet  paper bag!...(yes, I  am referring to  the Halle Berry  thing....again).

But I  gotta say, I  am a wee bit disappointed, I  mean the pix i  have seen thus far, she kinda looks like  one of those women  who  cant  pull off high  heels, and looks like she has a sick up  her @$$. (by the way if there are any  Fangirls reading this.... heels are NOT  sexy if you  look like you are constipated when you walk...Constipation IS NOT  SEXY!) 

Now don't get  me wrong, I  have seen some women do  some remarkable things while wearing heels....that  is a subject  for another kinda blog tho. And hey, look at  PRINCE!

He has been doing the spits wearing high heels for years...although, he DID get  a hip replacement a few years back...I  guess we will  just  have to  wait an see the final product.

One more thing.... ummm how many villains are in this flick again?  Catwoman, Bane, Talia AlGul, possibly a cameo  by Ras AlGul, whoever Joseph Gordon-Levitt is playing, and now hear tell the Scarecrow is going to  make an appearance...Again, maybe it's just  my  Fanboy  paranoia but  didnt another Batman movie have like MULTIPLE villains in it

..... AND a pretty  awful Spiderman movie? 

Notice now the first  and second Spiderman  films were good? (one hero, one main villain) and by the third movie TOO MANY VILLAINS! Same this with the Batman films (before Christian Bale) Now I am not going to sermon on Batman and  Tim Burton, but  don't worry  Fanboys and Fangirls... I  will be getting to that and  why Michael Keaton SUCKED AS BATMAN AND WHY  TIM BURTON SHOULD ONLY  BE ALLOWED TO BE INVOLVED WITH  HIS OWN WORK!....

THIS WAS ALMOST YOUR NEW SUPERMAN!!!

 

pant...pant...pant...sorry, kinda got uh a little too  agitated there for a sec..Fanboy  rant...over,,,for now....where was I?... oh  yeah, too  many  villains! I  know all  about  merchandising. Mel Brooks taught  us...

Merchandising, merchandising, merchandising, where the real money  from the movies is made!(Spaceballs*)

But  c'mon now let's not repeat the sins of the past. We dont need too  much  story trying to  be fudgepacked into one movie.

Spaceballs....classic movie!

Happy Birthday to the Emmissary....

Happy Birthday Commander  Benjamin Sisko, (or a Captain Called HAWK, as my  Mother likes to refer to  his as)

 Yes, my  Mother is also  a member of Starfleet  Command. Brigadier Admiral Annie Russell....oh yes, if you say that  your mom is a member of Starfleet...and she agrees wither her  title, yeah, you  both might be Fanboys!) 

By far the mellowest Captain of all the series, and at  one point  we all were hopping that  Robert  Urich would show up on the Promenade, and Sisko would see him and shout "SPEN-SAH" (you see kids, Avery  Brooks also played the role of HAWK in the TV show SPENCER:  FOR HIRE- September 20, 1985 – May 7, 1988

 

. He was the modern day  "KATO" to Robert Urich's "GREEN HORNET".  

                                         

Brooks went on to  Star in a show of his own aptly titled " A MAN CALLED HAWK"January 28, 1989 – May 13, 1989, a spin off of Spencer for Hire.)

Avery  brooks, born on this day  of the Prophets 1942. The first Black commander of a Star Trek Series (also the first  AMERICAN actor to  play the role, as a captain.(remember William Shatner is Canadian, and of course Patrick Stewart is Britsh.)

 Originally somewhat  reluctant to  play the role of Commander Ben Sisko, the orininal serries Lt. Nyota Uhura (Nichelle Nichols) Conviced Brooks to take the gig. 

**Fanboy fact** Nichelle Nichols was involved in the first  interracial kiss on national television..The episode entitled "Plato's Stepchildren,"

which aired on November 22, 1968, when Captain Kirk (William Shatner) kissed Lieutenant Uhura (Nichelle Nichols). Some stations in the South (U.S.) originally refused to air the episode.**

A little Avery  Brooks Trivia - 

He is an Associate Professor of Theater Arts Rutgers University, New Jersey [1976-present]

In 1993 he was inducted into the Rutgers University Hall of Distinguished Alumni.

He served as Artistic Director of the Atlanta, Georgia-based "National Black Arts Festival" from 1993 to 1996.

He is a tenured professor of Theatre at the Mason Gross School of the Arts at Rutgers University.

Taught courses for Rutgers University while working on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" (1993). 

He videotaped his lessons for his students at the studio, occasionally while still in his character's uniform!

Benjamin Sisko, Brooks's character on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" (1993), was ranked #50 in TV Guide's list of the "50 Greatest TV Dads of All Time" [20 June 2004 issue,

Has a very, very close relationship with Cirroc Lofton, the actor who played his son on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" (1993)

He was the only actor to appear in every episode of "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" (1993).

 

Deep Space Nine debuted on January 3, 1993, and aired through  June 2, 1999. Benjamin Sisko is the Starfleet officer placed in charge of Deep Space Nine. At the start of the series, he is a grieving widower (his wife having been killed by the Borg at the Battle of Wolf 359) and the father of a pre-teenage son, Jake. He and Jadzia Dax discover the Bajoran wormhole, which the Bajorans believe is the home of the Prophets, their gods and protectors. The Bajorans hail Sisko as the Emissary of the Prophets, an exalted religious status that initially makes him very uncomfortable. Due to his exemplary leadership, at the end of the third season, he is promoted from commander to captain and becomes a key leader of Federation forces against the Dominion. We also find out that his biological mother was a Prophet who possessed a woman who was his father's first wife, who (after Sisko's birth) left the woman's body and when she came to herself, she just left Sisko's dad. Sisko was actually raised by his stepmother and father; however, he was led to believe his stepmother was actually his (as he called her) "Mama".

Unlike the other Star Trek programs, DS9 took place on a space station instead of a starship, so as not to have two series with starships at the same time (the starship USS Defiant was introduced in season 3, but the station remained the primary setting for the show). This made continuing story arcs and the appearance of recurring characters much more feasible. The show is noted for its well-developed characters and its original, complex plots. The series depended on darker themes, less physical exploration of space, and an emphasis (in later seasons) on many aspects of war.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AVERY BROOKS!

** Star Trek...bigger than racism.

***Also, DS9 was almost the first  show to  air the first  lesbian kiss on national television(U.S.).In the episode titled "Rejoined"

Jadzia Dax and Lenara Kahn (Susanna Thompson). Lenara Kahn never re-appears on the series as the same character. As joined Trills, a previous male host of Dax and female host of Kahn had been husband and wife 90 years earlier.

But was beat out  by...

L. A. Law

"He's a Crowd"

February 7, 1991

C. J. Lamb and Abby Perkins.