10 EXAMPLES OF ACTORS WHO SHOULD HAVE NEVER DONNED THE CAPE...FINALE!!!

Okay  Fanboys and Fangirls, I  have finally  made it to then end of this  particular  rant. Saving the BEST ( or rather WORST)  for last. Even though, the last  two were pretty  hard to beat!  The final 2 are in this Fanboy's humble opinion possibly the most  damaging to the franchisees in particular. AWFUL casting, Fanboy  fueled arrogance and divinity and too much poetic license make the final 2 the nail in this Fanboy rant coffin.

I  am all for non-traditional casting. (ie: Michael Clarke Duncan as the KINGPIN in Daredevil)  

WHEN IT WORKS! Look at  IRON MAN. Robert Downey Jr.  is beyond perfect for the role of Tony Stark. I  mean aside from being a technological genius, HE IS TONY STARK IN REALITY!!

He owned the role, did the character justice, and  he paid homage to the people who  he knew would be filling the seats, 3,4,5 times over.... THE FANBOYS, THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE IT POSSIBLE TO MAKE THESE TERRIBLE FILMS!

Number TWO:  "Mr. Qui-Gon Sir...."
You  were supposed to  be the chosen one...it was said that you  would defeat the sith .....

 
instead Jake Lloyd  made the most  inticipated Fanboy film of all time....into  a suckfest...not all his faul tho, most  of the blame goes to  Papa George (George Lucas) who threatened us up with N'Sync being in the movie, adn cyrsed us with the ABOMINATION known only  as Jar, Jar  Binks.
Because he wanted to  appeal to  a wider audience, so to  speak. he steered away  from the original formula and tried to  make it too  cute, too "familiy  friendly" or whatever I  dunno, maybe he was hitting the bong or something...In Episode IV, all the comedy  relief  you  had  was CP3-0 and R2-D2, and the witty  banter of Han Solo.  AND THAT   IS ALL YOU  NEEDED!!!
         

        Star Wats Episode IV "A New Hope" came out  in 1977, and I  saw it ten times at the theatre, twice at the drive-in.... I  was a child, and this was the seventies!!! Kids didnt go to the movies every  weekend like they  do  now....but for STAR WARS I  did! My  little sister was in  LOVE  with Mark Hamill, we both watched Empire Strikes Back,, every   Sunday for THREE YEARS!!  I  read Return of The Jedi 5 times before I  actually  saw the movie. (yeah, I  know, I  have been a Fanboy for a looooooooong time) So  again, the most  anticipated Fanboy movie of all  time......and  you  give us this??? aside from  Jar Jar  Binks (who I  didnt see as racist, I  just  saw him as incredibly mindnummingly stupid!! and I  wished someone would have blown his head off after hearing him talk for five minutes) Aside from the fact there was a wee bit too much  CGI., and pulling  a Highlander 2 and killing the mysticism  and coolness of the Jedi by the revelation of where the FORCE  come from. .these aspects could have been over looked but damn, the boy who  would grow up  to  be Darth Vader, looks and sounds like  Dennis the Menace. I  dig that   you  wanna show the innocence of a child being twisted my  pain and sorry, and fear, but Jake Lloyd is a terrible kid actor!!! He is like a poor man's Johnathan Lipnicky from Jerry  McGwire.  I  can not  believe that  there were NO other child actors who  could have played this role?? How about Haley Joel Osmet? He was still  a kid, and could have made the role  1000% more believable..

Tthen you  give us Hayden Christenson....

given the moniker "Mannequin Skywalker".....pretty  much the Sci-Fi equivalent to  Allen Payne (see Tyler Perry's TV show, House of Payne...on second thought, don't see it, it is a horible show), proving that not ALL Canadian actors, are good ones! He has a good look....but he and Dolph Lungren obviously  went to the same acting school.  I  want  to  like Hayden, but  especially  in Episode III, Revenge of the Sith, his acting was....horrendous. Not a total Stinkfest mainly ,because of the special effects and Ewan McGreggor , Natalie Portman, and Liam Neeson.
I  dunno, 
I  kinda feel bad because Jake Lloyd will most likely  NOT EVER be able to  get  any  kind of acting work outside of spoof comedies and possible Sci-Fi documentaries. Plus the legacy  he leaves is not of the one who brought ballance to the Force, but the one who  nearly destroyed the franchise with his inept acting ability..

I  suppose we should be greatful the the prequels are not being made now or else we might have Justin Bieber as  young Anakin Skywalker....although I  can kinda see him becoming Darth Vader!

"you  were supposed to  be the chosen one!"

NUMBER ONE:  "What are you?.....I'm the worst  choice ever for BATMAN!"

Michael Keaton as BATMAN

Quite frankly one of the MAIN reasons I  even started this blog. When Tim Burton's BATMAN came out  and it was out that  MR MOM/Beetlejuice was going to  play  Bruce Wayne/Batman.....

I  honestly thought it was a joke...a bad, sick twisted joke. Okay, let us examine the character  of BATMAN. Youbg Bruce watches his parents get  brutally  murdered by a two bit thug

(named Joe Chill....NOT JACK NAPIER..THE  JOKER DID NOT KILL BATMAN'S PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!) at  which point he vowed to make sure no child would ever have to  endure such pain, and bring those wrong doers to  justice, wherever evil preys upon the innocent. So  he trains his body and his mind, honed to perfection.  Fronting the image of a spoiled Millionaire playboy, by  day,
The crime fighting vigilante known as  THE  BATMAN is an over six foot, beyond Olympic level ATHLETE....ATHLETE.....ATHLETE......Michael Keaton....ATHELETE/Michael Keaton....Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture????
Michael Keaton is only  about 5'5 and balding....and about as athletice as a bowl of ricotta cheese....okay maybe that  was a bit extreme, but c'mon, anyone who  is really  a fan...(or even anyone who  has sight) can see that  this was THE MOST ABSURD CHOICE FOR THIS CHARACTER. THE BATMAN is not an everyman hero, not anyone, can be THE BATMAN!  I  have heard the argument that  his BATMAN was one of the best, better  than Val Kilmer, and better  than George Clooney. NO!... Th film it self was a cinematice beauty, making Gotham City ver dark and Gothic, very  comicbookesques, which is good, I  LOVED that  part  of the film and I  have NO arguments there.(even though after the first  film, it went from Gothic to Las Vegas on acid).Michael Keaton as BATMAN is  like Jean-Claude Van Damme as THE AMERICAN CHARACTER GUILE in The Street Fighter movie,
  or like Edward Furlong in the last  CROW installment.

( that is one I  missed, belive me DO NOT  SEE THIS MOVIE!!.  Very  bad,  very, very  bad!) Keaton's BATMAN  was just  not believeable...and it sucked donley balls.
Val Kilmer's BATMAN and Bruce Wayne were were exactly the same, you  could not tell the difference between the two,

and George Clooney IS Bruce Wayne in Reality, his BATMAN
just  kinda sucked,bu that was not all his faul, most  of that  I  blame on the doofus known as Joel Shoemacher.  Bat-Nipples,and Bat-Butt shots, remember?

I  was sooo disgusted with the  first  BATMAN film, I  boycotted it, i  did NOT  see it at the theatre,and nearly  waited a year before I  actually  saw it.



How about young Alec Baldwin?

(Beetlejuice, The Shadow) to  play the role. He would have fit the part a HELL of a lot more than Keaton. He actually  fits the part  better! Hell  i  even heard rumor that  a young Jeff Goldblum was even slated to  play the raole at  one point! Jack Nickelson's Joker and the Gothic nature of the scenery of the film.barely  make this movie watchable.
Kevin Conroy,

the guy  who des the voice of BATMAN/Bruce Wayne from Batman The Animated Series would even be a better   fit for the movies!   Adam West would have even been a better choice, and least  HE is about the right height and is definately a PLAYBOY,

Oh, I  read Burt Ward's book......which ultimately makes me a Fanboy!

If Michael Keaton was so great in the movies, why  doesn't the video game persona look like him??